Captain Stupid

Captain Stupid is the sultan/king/ruler of Hazim. For an inexplicable reason, he is a 18th century pirate in full seafaring regalia and black beard who mostly says "Arrrr".

He spends his days in the throne room sitting on a Sultan's cushion and eating cheese.

Rumored to be invincible, though he has visited Heck on occasion, due to extremely stupid things the players have done.

History
The sultan and undeniable ruler of Hazim. Why a stupid pirate obsessed with cheese became the sultan of a previously landlocked desert city is anyone's guess, really. At one point he must have had a wife (or at least, a drunken night) as he fathered a daughter.

His competence is unquestionably lacking almost every waking moment of every day. He does almost nothing but sit on his throne-cushion and eat cheese while saying"Arrr" to everyone. No one in the city seems to pay attention to any of these facts, though, and instead simply go about their business happily.

Still, he has always been an eager patron and ally of the players, happily appointing them Knights of Chaos and entrusting them with the future and safety of Hazim. Wisely. So very wisely. (i.e.)  He's always quick to take the player's sides in any dispute with

Captain Stupid has always seemed to prefer a lasses-faire style of governing, leaving the day-to-day operations in the hands of kingdom officials and only issuing royal Decrees when comedically appropriate.

<<......>>

This is not to suggest he's lazy or unable to take direct action, however. He participated directly in the Battle with Nathan Khan, dueling with the warlord himself and proving his swashbuckling is not to be trifled with.

In The Next Generation shapter, he's taken an even more active role, getting involved (usually accidently) with the player's antics more and more. After being given a ship (filled to the gills with cheese), the crusty pirate lord has taken to leaving his throne room in fact, sailing out on Lake Screwyou or out in the Ocean of Many Colors.

He was deposed by Sir Mage during the evil wizard's rise to power, but escaped the attempts on his life (or rather, saved by the players). Though not running the kingdom, his Right to Rule as Sultan remained intact as he was the only one able to issue Decrees Hazim would listen to. He was hidden in the vault of the Assassins & Thieves Guild by the Hazim Liberation Front until they could make him listen to reason and use his power to save Hazim.

After the signing of the peace treaty, it can be assumed that Captain Stupid is back to his usual routine, and settled comfortably crosslegged on his favorite throne cushion once again.

Skills
-Infuriating Yutz (natural passive ability, +20)

-Buckling Swashes

-The Big One (Panic Button)

-Jolly Roger (Panic Button)

Trivia

 * Very easily influenced by those who give him cheese