IPOC (Random Anime Game)



IPOC (Incredible Piece of Crap) Pink Velvet Groovy Dreamtrain of the Penguin Brigade was a Random Anime game that we played one night to break in the system. As is the tradition of one-shots like this, it devolved into chaos and property damage (..no wait that's every game we play).

-James was the owner of the Dam Guud Coffee Shop. He possessed a staff that could extend to ridiculous lengths and was a mop disguised as a broom.

-Shane was Baste Aard, son of Abitch (who was a glorious king who presided over the War of Robots and Aliens in Space), who had a magical power cord that would summon lightning if he swung it around. He could also enter super-deformed-chibi-mode and spring around.

-Bethany was a mad scientist with a secret laboratory built in a nitroglycerin factory. She had the powers of super-science and flatulence.

-Matt was an iteration of Jim Maxwell, with sniper rifle and Caster Shells. He lived in a house next to the Damm Guud Coffee Shop.

-Amanda was a psychopath with a Pokemon-ish critter that could melt people with its laser eyes who lived in a gingerbread house on the roof of a skyscraper.

Despite lasting only a single game session, IPOC spawned 4 anime episodes (as is the structure of RandomAnime), which are documented here.

Episode1: "We didn't have one"
The title refers to the fact that we didn't have a title.

--sephiroth

--Everyone appeared in a forest, around a campfire, motorcycles behind them which took off. Shane leaped after one, Matt shot out the tire of one, Shane came back on one and Amanda pressed the green nitro button repeatedly sending him off at Mach1. He flew off cliff.

--everyone ran through forest fire and James fell off cliff but used his extending broom to save himself. Bethany lowered herself down with a fart, and Jim and Amanda just climbed down.

--Set off the H-bomb in the crater there, and James called his friend King to come with a rocket car and saved them all except Jim who sat on the H-bomb. Bethany crashed through windshield later.

--in Magicant, Shane's cardboard box home was run over in the street, and they found Matt sitting in his house next to the Damm Gud Coffee Shop, with a set of his clothes inside, glowing from radiation.

--and then a big well-dressed man and his 10 henchmen challanged the PCs to punching them in the face. Then he went into the Damm Gud Coffee Shop for a cup of coffee, but James served him dirty mop water by accident. He revealed he was wearing a dynamite vest, and James pushed him out by the chin with his broom, through the wall and the building on the other side of the street, and into Bethany's nitroglycerine factory, while Matt fired a rocket round under the broom. Blew up the world... When it came back, Matt got flicked.

--James let Shane live next to his shop in a cardboard box (since the alley was unoccupied now since the henchmen were gone from it). A dire rat kept harrassing Shane and he kept telling it to 'go away' and it did.

Episode2: Crusading Knights of the Totem Order
--Bethany began the day by defecating on James's front pavement, as always. Shane got a job cleaning it up and working at the coffee shop.

--Matt began his day with clay pigeon target practice, as always. Amanda had a clay pigeon land on her gingerbread house on the top of a skyscraper, and Matt blew the corner of it off. The bullet also hit the neon sign and it fell on her house and burned it up. So she leapt off to another building and threw people off the roof.

--there were customers in the coffee shop, including Sephiroth (who was humming One-Winged Angel to himself)

--Matt tried to leave the coffee shop and Bethany stood in his way, so he said something like "Get out of my way or I'll slap you like that byeeotch Sephiroth!". Sephiroth stood up, the wall rose and a full orchestra and choir was there. James told them to take it outside so Sepiroth slashed the front of the building off so they were outside. Then Matt did some fast-talking so Sephiroth went away. James and Shane chased him down to make him pay for the coffee and store, and so they fought on a rooftop over Sesame street. ...they kicked his ass, and then robbed him, took all his clothes and possessions and Bethany cut off his hair to clone him with.

--Shane pawned the Masamune, James got repairs done, paying in stolen Gil, and everyone bought Extra-Life Insurance from the company Power Up.

Episode3: I'm not wearing any pants.
--Matt's clothes, coffee cups quest

--In the morning, there was a newspaper article about how a killer that looked just like Matt was roaming the streets with a gattling gun. Or at least, who wore his clothes... And his set of radioactive glowing clothes were missing.

--James and Shane found this article and immediately called the police since a psycho was living next door, they thought. The police ordered 12 cups of coffee and 12 donuts.

--Amanda woke up from a dream in which she dreamt of a red phone booth with a green phone inside. She awoke in the park, and got breakfast by frying a street vendor with her cute furry pet's laser eyes, and then stole his cart

--the police arrived in 4 cop cars, 8 police officers, sat down in the Damm Gud Coffee Shop and were going to wait for their donuts, while drinking their 12 coffees. So Shane went out to go get donuts, leaping through the streets, asking Crono where they were, missing Amanda since he was above and she was under a tree. He bought a bunch with Sephiroth's Shinra credit card and came back with them almost through the front door, but then around the side door.

--meanwhile Matt snuck away

--the police were told that the killer was right next door, so James and Shane heard them yelling and then shooting right next to the building.. They'd shot up Shane's house and captured the dire rat inside. Then they went to Matt's house.

--the evil psycho killer was found by Matt and Amanda, who took cover from it and fired back. Police thought at first Matt was the killer, but then saw the other figure, who was revealed to be... Matt's radioactive clothes come alive!! (dun-dun-duuuunnn!!!)  It pulled out dynamite with relighting fuses after Matt shot them off, and there was an explosion, the clothes flying everywhere.

--the pants leapt into a police cruiser and drove off, with Amanda trying to follow but she blew all the pistons out of the car. Then she got attacked on the rooftops by the shirt

--police were kicked in the butt by the shoes/boots

--meanwhile, James and Shane went looking for the police since they had taken their coffee cups with them. James pole-vaulted through the city and Shane just jumped in chibi-form.

--Matt got flipped in the car with the pants in it, since it was trying to scrape him off on the wall, but James was there, and put his broom down in front of the wheel. Got caught underneath, and when the police saved him, they destroyed his clothes thinking they were bad.

--in the end, the hat and the pants ran away, and James recovered 9 of the 12 coffee cups (since the police had evenly divided the cups among the cop cars, and one car had been towed away)

--someone threw Sephiroth's coat on Matt, and a kid asked for his autograph. Left heart-broken when Matt wouldn't give it. Then James asked him if he'd seen where the other cop car had gone, and he had, but he really first wanted Sephiroth's autograph. So he and Shane told him that they'd beat the piss out of Sephiroth, and showed how cool and better of heroes they were by beating up 'Sephiroth' again (poor Matt...). The kid called 'Sephiroth' a sexless rock and then told them all that the last car had been taken away by the Combat Towing Truck Company. James and Shane vowed to get it back... and the cups...

Episode4: Those Damm Coffee Cups (We Did it All for the Mugs)
-This episode never happened. The producers canceled the series for the good of the world, but it would have involved going after the Combat Towing Truck Company at the junkyard for the missing coffee cups.