Payday (Session)

In what may be the most egregious example of Mixed Karma's playstyle, a day began with the heroes deciding to harrass the Royal Advisor Yutz for their paychecks, and ended with one of them ascending to godhood. Before noon.

(Also, it wasn't even payday.)

Characters Involved
-Yourmom

-Eskimo Pi

-Ryu

-Johnny Incompetent

The Precursor
-Arena battle, in which Ryu flew really really high (in conjunction with Johnny Bomb?) and Mach2-Hammerslammed the arena, breaking another damage limit

The Events
-Went to kick Yutz in the nuts, slipped on one of Eskimo Pi's infamous popsicle sticks and hit Ryu instead.. Ryu went into bezerker rage and became a Hellfire Wyrm, and began a rampage through the city. To lead him out of the city, Johnny cast his Phantasamal Train spell and Eskimo Pie mounted it as a steed and steered it out of the city towards the desert. The train was derailed by another misplaced popsickle stick and then was able to fly. (probably due to Eskimo Pi just 'steering it into the sky' and making a good roll)

-"Anger God" spell cast in combination with "Bigby's Insulting Fist with critical failures(may have been successes, I think he was actually trying to summon him to fight Ryu), summons Erythnal, the D&D God of Slaughter

-Somehow beat him down and Johnny uses his skill "Make-Believe" (with power donated by everyone else's Brownie Points) to BECOME Erythnal instead.

-Johnny Incompetent becomes Erythnal Incompetent, the God of Slaughter.

-Yutz had been killed during the begining of the events, after Yourmom had missed the first time, he ended up getting a hit in, sending Yutz to Heck. Later, having finished his paperwork, Yutz materialized in the desert, only to instanly be incinerated by a well placed Hellfire dragonbreath.

Aftermath
-Temple of Johnny springs up, with worshippers praising shotguns and idiocy, as well as Useless Spells.

-Vast swath of desert turned to glass, where it rains cereal and milk every morning in a giant bowl.

-Leads directly to Steven Laughter character (since the DM wasn't about to let James continue playing as a diety), who becomes a Priest of the new religion.

-Players never actually got paid.

ALTERNATE NOTES I FOUND
-Somehow combine facts from these from above (and what we remember) and clean it up so we can have the full story at last

"Payday" (the story of Johnny's ascent to Godhood)

(Yourmom, Ryu, Johnny, and Eskimo Pi)

There was apparently an arena battle prior to the events, in which Johnny was the judge and Yourmom got a critical success. And Eskimo "messed up Yourmom's reality", probably with Dismotivate versus Make-Believe.

Then the party decided to go to the Palace and collect their paychecks.. even though it was nowhere near pay-day and they hadn't done ANY real work for the last week (they'd spent it screwing around and blowing up Hazim). Yutz naturally told them that he hated to state the obvious but they were not going to get paid today.

Ryu tackled Yutz and held him steady so Yourmom could kick him in the nuts.

...but Yourmom critically failed on his Ro-sham-bo...

He slipped on a popsicle stick (Eskimo Pi's fault) and kicked Ryu in the nuts instead, who failed his Will save and went into a bezerk rage. He transformed into a Hellfire Wyrm (something he was unable to do normally) and attacked.

Now with a new problem, the party had to stop Ryu. They ran after him (or rather, ran from him), and Johnny risked another Useless spell. He summoned the Phantom Train, a ghostly locomotive, which he rode through the city (sans tracks). A train-top battle was waged, until Eskimo Pi accidently derailed the train with another popsicle stick, pitching it sideways.

The battle went out to the desert south of Hazim, where somehow a Behometh was summoned (likely another Useless Spell).

As if in punishment for his popsicle sticks of chaos, Eskimo Pi died a LOT in this session. Johnny redirected a Doom spell at him. Ryu took a flaming shit on him from the air. And he revived right in the middle of the Behometh and Ryu's Dragon breath as they tore across the sand at each other.. He vanished into ashes as a giant flaming "DIE" seared the air above him.

Johnny pulled a particularily poor series of Useless spells which led to a stunning reversal of fate...

First, he cast "Anger God". Then when Erythnal the God of Slaughter appeared to express his dismay at his disrespect, he case "Bigby's Insulting Finger", enraging Erythnal.

But during a battle with the 6-armed god of slaughter, Johnny make-believed he was a dragon tamer, redirecting Ryu to the battle. Next, Yourmom brought the god to his knees temporarily with the dreaded move "Monkey Grabs the Peach". Finally, everyone poured their Brownie Points into Johnny Incompetant, as he burned every last one of them to boost his Make-Believe skill to the point that he beat his roll by 75 and successfully BECAME A GOD by playing pretend, and killed Erythnal.. taking his place in the deific circle as Erythnal Incompetant.

They dropped Erythnal from 1000 HP to -833 HP...

Results:

-The desert south of Hazim, seared by hellfire flames and the site of a mortal's ascension to godhood became the Holy Glass Desert, where milk and cereal would rain from the sky every dawn for believers to snack upon.

-A new religion was founded, worshipping the Book of Useless Spells, and the chaotic Erythnal Incompatant

-The players got paid in the end, despite it not actually being payday

"You became a GOD.  That's when you know you won at D&D."

It went from trying to get paid.. to this...