The Saga of Raaj M'taaj's Hat

The final (to date anyhow) session of Mixed Karma took place attempting to break in a new Character-Gen ruleset based heavily on SenZar. Though technically a 'one-shot' with its effects unintended to bear major weight on the history of Hazim, it wound up revealing one of the foundations for the next chapter. The signing of the peace treaty with Law.

The Characters

 * Raaj M'taaj (a blind, retired captain of the Royal Guard, played by Shane)
 * Copy Cat (Yutz's pet cat, one of the leftovers from Admiral Nacho's defective sketched flying cat army, with shape-changing powers, played by Jynxi)
 * Hismom (Yourmom's apparent clone or illegitimate son, played by Matt)

The Events (likely will be spaced out better later)
At the start...

Matt crits his 'fortunate' roll and is the Heir of Yourmom.

Underground alchemy lab suspended above a chasm by chains, using the core of the earth as his furnace. Or some shit. Nobody knows where he came from, not even him or Yourmom. He just has something ridiculous like 100k knuckles.

Copy Cat is Yutz's pet cat, and a left-over biplane creation of Admiral Nacho, who has ridiculous morpheous mimicry abilities.

And Raaj M'taaj is the former captain of the royal guards, despite being old, senile, and totally blind. Also a deadly swordman with Elemental Strength: Swords (and elemental weakness: arrows.  To the knee.  Quite common for guards). He also can't stay committed to one job for long, so he retired and has been freelancing for awhile.

Raaj decided to start his day in the Palace by riding the conveyor belts to the training facility for some sword practice. (Blind people use conveyor belts to get around their houses, you know). Still standing on the moving belt, he stopped to blather incoherently to some guards, not realizing it was carrying him past the training room. He stumbled off and attacked what he thought was a wooden target dummy.. but was instead a stone support pillar for the Palace..

The ceiling started to collapse so he calmly got on his conveyor belt and left.

Copy Cat was napping in Yutz's room, which began to collapse. She fled, and leapt down the holes and landed right on Raaj's head. Raaj immediately liked his new soft, furry hat.. even since it had 'pins' (claws) that poked his head. She clung on for dear life.

Meanwhile, Hismom was exploring the marketplace for new alchemy ingredients. The merchant from RE4 lured him into an alley, and revealed what was under his coat.. which was nothing. He flashed Hismom, causing him to go blind for 5 minutes and take Sanity damage. However, still blind, he Crit-succeeded his 'Ryu Tornado Sideways' kick that row-sham-bo'd the merchant and dealt 40 points of damage, instantly killing him and sending him flying into the sky. Dizzy, he felt for a wall to stabilize himself, but grabbed a donkey cart instead, and walked along with it.

At that time, the conveyor belt stopped moving, so Raaj stepped off and started running at top speed away from the collapsing ceiling. Copy saw he was heading towards a wall, so she "steered" him through a doorway. Then Raaj ran through a group of guards running to help, and Copy wanted off.. Raaj felt his hat "start to fall off" so he grabbed it (critically) and Copy had to turn into a furry cat-hat (fedora) with whiskers.. Continueing towards the guards, he bowled them over. It stopped him, so he turned around and berated the guards for "how many times did I tell you not to get in my way when I'm running through the castle?!", shushing them when they answered, well, none.

Raaj yelled at them to "clean up the mess behind me!", which was outside the palace... The scared guards complied, and he ran back into the palace, towards another support pillar.

Copy Cat mimicked his own voice and told him to go back the way he came, which he happily agreed.. almost trampling the guards a second time before charging the palace courtyard fountain.. which he quickly demolished. Standing in the middle of the fountain, he was the only safe place with WATER everywhere (Copy's elemental weakness), so she clung to his head.

Raaj felt his feet were wet (standing in the fountain), wondering aloud if there was a flood. He shouted for a janitor, and Bobby Corwin showed up, who happily volunteered his "ancient chinese remedy" of a cure for wet feet. He formed a cult of the guards to gather the neccessary materials:


 * -several gallons of toothpaste


 * -a donkey cart


 * -two dozen spatulas


 * -3 buckets


 * -a hot air balloon

Hismom's donkey cart he was traveling with was confiscated by Corwin's newest cult, and he followed them to the palace, where he watched Bobby assemble the materials, using toothpaste as caulk and attaching a harness around Raaj. They filled the hot air balloon and everyone watched Raaj (and the donkey, and Copy Cat) sail up into the sky...

Copy Cat tried to transform into a biplane to get away from Raaj, but he simply grabbed on again. Since he was holding onto her with forward momentum, the balloon started flying.. a clear violation of No Flying law of Hazim. Cop cars pulled out behind the clouds to give chase.

Copy tried to turn into an anvil, but only succeeded in making herself a flying anvil, so the balloon started sinking. It was low enough and near a bell tower, that Hismom tried to run up it to leap to the balloon. He failed and fell to the ground, barely breaking his fall.

Copy turned into a cloud (her Hidden Power, Mirror Image, a perfect no-roll transformation of something she sees around her), which obscured Raaj from the cops.. who shot katanas at him through the cloud. Swords were his elemental strength though, so he easily parried them.

Hismom was near Cid the moogle's dance bar, and ran in to find something that could be used to reach the battle above, wanting to get in on the excitement. He saw the manpoon replica (person-launching harpoon gun) above the bar counter. Being too impatient and reckless to pay for it, he simply stole it and ran outside, SEVERELY angering Cid the moogle (and interrupting Taco Tuesday in his bar), so he hit his Panic Button.. filling the skies with airships ready to rain napalm down on Hismom. ..flying airships were of course illegal, so MORE cop cars showed up, creating an aerial battle between cops wielding katana-launchers and airships full of angry moogles.

Hismom narrowly escaped the flood of napalm heading his way.. Plan was to climb the bell tower again and launch himself at a passing airship. Made his Dex check but failed his Speed check.. until he burned a Fate point to climb really really fast (and careful!) above the rising tide. As the bell tower collapsed ringing in flames behind him, Hismom launched himself to the rigging of one of the ships. Since the Panic Button was aimed at him, all the moogles were hostile to him, so he threw alchemist's fire at them and dueled another moogle in the crow's nest.

It was then that he noticed his legs were attached to the manpoon by rope (automatically, as harpoons work..). He tugged it free from the falling bell tower and reeled it in to save it for later.

Admiral Nacho had joined this massive air battle with the TIE fighters and her paper airplane, so Copy reformed as herself on her paper airplane. She then copied Hismom's alchemy fire item and threw a flask at him.. but missed.

Raaj meanwhile felt his feet were toasty warm (over the burning flames of Hazim), so he unstrapped and -- due to his absurd luck -- blindly and calmly walked to safety along the railings and decks of dualing airships and cop cars.

Nacho saw Hismom attacking the moogles, so she sent the TIE fighters after him from both sides. ..they critically failed and shot each other. One TIE fighter crashed into the airship, while the other dove in flames directly at Nacho's paper airplane...

"Oh mierda!!" Nacho exclaimed. Copy tried her feline "Trip" ability but was unable to stop the TIE fighter (which would've been hillarious). The paper airplane was torn to confetti and Copy grabbed onto Nacho's flying admiral's hat.. accidently stealing it from Nacho and inadvertantly sending Nacho to fall to her death in the burning streets below...

Nacho: "Estúpido gato!!"

Hismom saw Copy Cat violating the Moogle Protection Act along with the other moogle aboard the falling, wounded airship (that had been hit by the other TIE fighter). Hismom loaded himself into the manpoon to launch himself to a new airship.. but missed. He sailed into the open air, but frantically reeled in the manpoon, re-loaded himself, and shot again in mid-air (just before landing on the Emporium of Sharp Pointy Things)...

Critical success on his attack (20+)!

Successfully launched himself to safety. The manpoon clattered to the ground, then was tugged up with him. He spun himself around on the captain's wheel of the new ship and bumped the moogle captain out of the way, stealing his ship, and his hat.

Copy Cat, not to be out-done, hit her Panic Button, "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better", and outdid Hismom's critical by 1 point automatically. She shot herself out of her mimicked Catpoon twice, over the airship, sprinkling rainbows and confetti, before shooting a third time through a flaming collapsing belltower and landing on the deck.. displacing both the moogle AND Hismom (and stealing the captain's hat, and control of the ship). Additionally, she mimicked a moogle, becoming a cat-moogle temporarily (moogle with whiskers!).

Hismom lost another point of Sanity from the wtf moment, and went belowdeck to find a drink. They were still celebrating Taco Tuesday down there, and the gasses made him feel random emotions. He felt exceptionally brave and poured on liquid death hotsauce, starting a fire in his gut.. He tried to quench it with copious amounts of potent moogle alcohol, but kept making his Constitution save to stay sober. (enough that he defied all the odds and gained Alcohol Tolerance as a skill, lvl 2, for free).

Copy Cat meanwhile decided to pilot her new airship back to Yutz and proudly present him with her new gift. She knew he was in the throne room. Her choices were to fly next to the window and get his attention, or pilot through the window.. She failed her Dex check, and the choice was made for her.

Hismom and the taco party downstairs felt a thump.

The airship was now inside the throne room, and had interrupted a giant peace treaty meeting between Law and Chaos and all the important people of Hazim (Yourmom, Steven, Ryu, Nathan Khan, Captain Stupid, Yutz...  Nacho's chair was currently unoccupied as she had an 'issue' to take care of..).

Yutz glared disapprovingly at the whiskered moogle as he approached with a spray bottle. He resisted her "big eye trick" and spritzed her, chasing her around the room saying "Bad kitty!!" til she fled down into the airship.

She bumped past Hismom, who was coming up-deck with two mugs of moogle-beer. He turned around and bumped straight into Yutz, who stared in shock at a 'second' Yourmom...

Hismom emerged blathering drunk to the party and had a short conversation with Yourmom, which went surprisingly civil until he revealed he was carrying more explosives than Trigger and Yourmom combined... Nacho, freshly-revived, ran over and erased his entire inventory with her magic eraser.

As Hismom was escorted from the room, and Copy Cat took a cat-nap in the lower deck of the parked airship in the room, the signed peace treaties and ground-breaking documents lay undisturbed in the middle of the room, between Law and Chaos. A new era having begun.. and an adventure school having been built to train new heroes for the new age..

...of which of course Hismom would be quietly sent to, since two Yourmoms was too much even for Hazim.

At the very end, Raaj M'taaj (luckily) recovers Nacho's hat and uses it to sail down safely to the ground.

..being unable to stay in one spot, it's entirely possible he'll find his way over to MKFU as a substitute teacher... (but being blind, could wind up in the wrong classroom constantly)

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